Elder Marvin J. Ashton on giving and receiving love

Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915-1994) served as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles from 1971 until his death in 1994 at age 78.

"A quality person will develop the capacity to love and be lovable. We all need to take advantage of every opportunity to love with tenderness and sincerity. This will determine our eternal joys and progress. Ponder the truth that it is more important to love than to be loved.

"Thomas P. Malone said: 'Almost every emotional problem can be summed up in one particular bit of behavior: it's a person walking around screaming, "...Love me." Love me, that's all. He goes through a million different manipulations to get somebody to love him.

"'On the other hand, healthy people are those who walk around looking for someone to love. And, if you see changes in the people who are screaming, "Love me, love me," it's when they realize that if they give up this screaming and go to the other business of loving another human, they can get the love they've been screaming for all their lives. It's hard to learn, but it's good when you learn it.' (Reader's Digest, Jan. 1974, p. 151.)"

- Marvin J. Ashton, "Be a Quality Person," address given 30 August 1992 during a single member fireside satellite broadcast; see Ensign, Feb. 1993, pp. 64-67
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We should "develop the capacity to love and be lovable." But how do we do that? It begins by taking advantage of opportunities to express love. I think we become lovable as we learn to share more love with others.

The rest of this excerpt is a quotation from a well-known psychotherapist who identified man's need to be loved, and the problems that occur when that is lacking. But truly healthy people spend their time finding ways to express and share love with others. And those who are struggling with life can be cured and helped by finding ways to serve and express affection and appreciation. It's a clear echo of the Savior's admonition, "As I have loved you... love one another." (John 13:34)

President Harold B. Lee on trusting God through life's challenges

President Harold B. Lee (1899-1973) was called to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 1941. He served as a counselor in the First Presidency from 1970-1972, then as Church president from July 1972 until his passing less than 18 months later in December 1973.

"So the all-important thing in life isn't what happens to you, but the important thing is how you take it. That's the important thing. In the closing of the Sermon on the Mount, you remember, the Master gave a parable. He said:

"'Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:

"'And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock." [Matthew 7:24-25.]

"What was he trying to impress? He was trying to say that the winds of adversity, the floods of disaster, the difficulties, are going to beat upon every human house upon this earth; and the only ones who will not fall—when the bank fails, when you lose a loved one, in any other disaster—the only thing that will hold us through all these storms and stresses of life is when we've built upon the rocks by keeping the commandments of God....

"Wait patiently on the Lord in the season of persecution and deep affliction. The Lord said,

"'Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;

"'Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament—the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.' (D&C 98:1-2)"

- Harold B. Lee, "Education for Eternity," address given at Salt Lake Institute of Religion, 15 Jan. 1971, pp. 7-8

President Lee begins this excerpt with a key thought: "So the all-important thing in life isn't what happens to you, but the important thing is how you take it. That's the important thing." To a large extent, we choose how we react to the things that happen to us. There will be many challenges in life; but if our foundation is solid, if we have an established pattern of obedience and faithfulness, we'll be blessed in weathering the storms:

I love the scriptural exhortation to "Wait patiently on the Lord." He will hear the prayers of his friends, and grant them in due time.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland on confidence in the Lord's help

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (born December 3, 1940) served as Church Commissioner of Education from 1976-1980, as the president of BYU from 1980-1989, as a Seventy from 1989-1994, and as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles since 1994.

"I wish to encourage every one of you today regarding opposition that so often comes after enlightened decisions have been made, after moments of revelation and conviction have given us a peace and an assurance we thought we would never lose. In his letter to the Hebrews, the Apostle Paul was trying to encourage new members who had just joined the Church, who undoubtedly had had spiritual experiences and had received the pure light of testimony, only to discover that not only had their troubles not ended, but that some of them had only begun....

"Paul pled with those new members about the way President Hinckley is pleading with new members today. The reminder is that we cannot sign on for a moment of such eternal significance and everlasting consequence without knowing it will be a fight—a good fight and a winning fight, but a fight nevertheless. Paul said to those who thought a new testimony, a personal conversion, or a spiritual baptismal experience would put them beyond trouble, 'Call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions' (Hebrews 10:32; emphasis added).

"Then came this tremendous counsel, which is at the heart of my counsel to you and the title of my remarks this morning:

"'Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.

"'For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise....

"'...If any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. . . .

"'...We are not of them who draw back unto perdition.' [Hebrews 10:35-36, 38-39; emphasis added]...

"I acknowledge the reality of opposition and adversity, but I bear witness of the God of Glory, of the redeeming Son of God, of light and hope and a bright future. I promise you that God lives and loves you, each one of you, and that he has set bounds and limits to the opposing powers of darkness. I testify that Jesus is the Christ, the victor over death and hell and the fallen one who schemes there. The gospel of Jesus Christ is true, and it has been restored, just as we have sung and testified this morning.

"'Fear ye not.' And when the second and the third and the fourth blows come, 'fear ye not.... The Lord shall fight for you.' 'Cast not away therefore your confidence.'"

- Jeffrey R. Holland, "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence," BYU Devotional, March 2, 1999
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Elder Holland seems always to be sensitive to the struggles and challenges faced by Church members and others in the journey of mortality. In this excerpt, he reassures us all that even though we see challenges and opposition after having made important commitments or choices in our lives, we should not hesitate or question God. While there are blessings and rewards for those good actions, it does not mean that opposition ceases—perhaps just the opposite.

So we must keep our faith and hope strong; we must trust in God and in the blessings of the Savior in our lives, come what may, and not lose our confidence in them.

The admonition "Fear ye not" rings down through the ages and echoes loudly today. "The Lord shall fight for you." (Exodus 14:13-15.)

Elder Robert D. Hales on enduring with "eternal vision"

Elder Robert D. Hales (b. August 24, 1932) served as a Seventy from 1976 to 1985, when he was called as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles.

"We are taught in the scriptures that there must be opposition in all things (see 2 Ne. 2:11). It is not a question of if we are ready for the tests; it is a matter of when. We must prepare to be ready for tests that will present themselves without warning.

"The basic requirements for enduring to the end include knowing who we are, children of God with a desire to return to His presence after mortality; understanding the purpose of life, to endure to the end and obtain eternal life; and living obediently with a desire and a determination to endure all things, having eternal vision. Eternal vision allows us to overcome opposition in our temporal state and, ultimately, achieve the promised rewards and blessings of eternal life.

"If we are patient in our afflictions, endure them well, and wait upon the Lord to learn the lessons of mortality, the Lord will be with us to strengthen us unto the end of our days: 'He that shall [faithfully] endure unto the end, the same shall be saved' (Mark 13:13) and return with honor to our Heavenly Father.

"We learn to endure to the end by learning to finish our current responsibilities, and we simply continue doing it all of our lives. We cannot expect to learn endurance in our later years if we have developed the habit of quitting when things get difficult now."

- Robert D. Hales, "Behold, We Count Them Happy Which Endure," Ensign, May 1998, pp. 75-77
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It is worth pondering the meaning of the word "opposition." We often apply it to trials and difficulties that come on many forms in life, sometimes as a result of our own choices or actions and sometimes through no fault of our own. In the Book of Mormon usage (2 Nephi 2:10-15) it refers to the existence of choices, the presence of an adversary, the eternal plan of agency and consequences. Elder Hales uses it in referring to the tests that come into our lives, as he teaches us on the importance of enduring in faithfulness.

This is an interesting summary of how to endure, starting with understanding our origin, the reason for our existence, and having commitment to obey in faithfulness:

I like the phrase "eternal vision." It implies that all we see is in context of eternity; in the midst of the "tests" referred to earlier, we understand the eternal nature of our existence and the consequences of our choices.

Elder David A. Bednar on the spiritual blessings of obedience

Elder David A. Bednar (born June 15, 1952) was serving as the president of BYU–Idaho when he was called and sustained as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in October 2004.

"Often as we teach and testify about the law of tithing, we emphasize the immediate, dramatic, and readily recognizable temporal blessings that we receive. And surely such blessings do occur. Yet some of the diverse blessings we obtain as we are obedient to this commandment are significant but subtle. Such blessings can be discerned only if we are both spiritually attentive and observant (see 1 Corinthians 2:14).

"The imagery of the 'windows' of heaven used by Malachi is most instructive. Windows allow natural light to enter into a building. In like manner, spiritual illumination and perspective are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the law of tithing.

"For example, a subtle but significant blessing we receive is the spiritual gift of gratitude that enables our appreciation for what we have to constrain desires for what we want. A grateful person is rich in contentment. An ungrateful person suffers in the poverty of endless discontentment (see Luke 12:15)....

"Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals. And when we plead for relief from physical, mental, and spiritual difficulties, He may increase our resolve and resilience.

"I promise that as you and I observe and keep the law of tithing, indeed the windows of heaven will be opened and spiritual and temporal blessings will be poured out such that there shall not be room enough to receive them (see Malachi 3:10)....

"I testify that as we are spiritually attentive and observant, we will be blessed with eyes that see more clearly, ears that hear more consistently, and hearts that understand more fully the significance and subtlety of His ways, His thoughts, and His blessings in our lives."

- David A. Bednar, "The Windows of Heaven," Ensign, Nov 2013, pp. 17-20
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Elder Bednar was teaching about the principle of tithing in this address, but I think the insights he offered apply wonderfully to the more fundamental principle of obedience and faithfulness. We sometimes focus on temporal or physical blessings for obeying commandments, such as the financial aspects of tithing. But "the windows of heaven" have a much more spiritual connotation as Elder Bednar points out, and the "spiritual illumination and perspective" that are poured out as we obey are much more significant to us.

As we petition God in prayer, we often learn that answers come in very different ways than we initially anticipate. I loved this summary of how God may respond to us:

The final testimony from Elder Bednar's excerpt is important. I long to be more "spiritually attentive and observant," and know that as I do so, I will notice and feel the promised blessings.

President Ezra Taft Benson on overcoming discouragement through personal progress

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899-1994) was called to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 1943, and served as the 13th President of the Church from 1985 until his death in 1994 at age 94.

"Every accountable child of God needs to set goals, short- and long-range goals. A man who is pressing forward to accomplish worthy goals can soon put despondency under his feet, and once a goal is accomplished, others can be set up. Some will be continuing goals. Each week when we partake of the sacrament we commit ourselves to the goals of taking upon ourselves the name of Christ, of always remembering him and keeping his commandments. Of Jesus' preparation for his mission, the scripture states that he 'increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.' (Luke 2:52.) This encompasses four main areas for goals: spiritual, mental, physical, and social. 'Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be?' asked the Master, and he answered, 'Verily I say unto you, even as I am.' (3 Ne. 27:27.) Now there is a lifetime goal—to walk in his steps, to perfect ourselves in every virtue as he has done, to seek his face, and to work to make our calling and election sure....

"Let your minds be filled with the goal of being like the Lord, and you will crowd out depressing thoughts as you anxiously seek to know him and do his will. 'Let this mind be in you,' said Paul. (Philip. 2:5.) 'Look unto me in every thought,' said Jesus. (D&C 6:36.) And what will follow if we do? 'Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee.' (Isa. 26:3.)"

- Ezra Taft Benson, "Do Not Despair," Ensign, November 1974, p. 65
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President Benson suggests that we can overcome discouragement and despondency by "pressing forward to accomplish worthy goals."

He then encourages us more specifically to set goals in areas that are "spiritual, mental, physical, and social" as we strive to be more like the Savior. As we strive to "walk in his steps" and "perfect ourselves in every virtue as he has done" we will find that joy and "perfect peace" will replace discouragement.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf on making wise use of our time

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (1940- ) served as a Seventy from 1994-2004, when he was called as a member of the Quorum of Twelve.  He has served as second counselor in the First Presidency since 2008.

"A wise man once distinguished between 'the noble art of getting things done' and 'a nobler art of leaving things undone.' True 'wisdom in life,' he taught, consists of 'the elimination of non-essentials' (Lin Yutang, The Importance of Living, 162, 10). May I suggest that you periodically evaluate how you are doing in this area? What are the nonessential things that clutter your days and steal your time? What are the habits you may have developed that do not serve a useful purpose? What are the unfinished or unstarted things that could add vigor, meaning, and joy to your life?

"Sometimes we make the mistake of neglecting the essentials of life. The Savior had harsh words for the scribes and Pharisees of His day: 'Woe unto you,' He told them, 'for [you] have omitted the weightier matters of the law, [justice], mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done' (Matthew 23:23).

"Although the Savior's words were directed to a specific audience thousands of years ago, they apply to us as well today.

"In modern revelation, the Lord has commanded, 'Thou shalt not idle away thy time, neither shalt thou bury thy talent that it may not be known' (D&C 60:13). It is quite common to hear people and friends of ours say, 'Where has the time gone?' or 'If I only had more time.'

"In reality, time is perhaps the only commodity of life that is divided equally among every person in the world. Think about it—we all have 24 hours in a day. Though some people have more demands on their time than others, we all have an equal opportunity to use those 24 hours wisely."

- Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "As You Embark upon This New Era," BYU commencement address, April 23, 2009
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In our society, we often feel ingrained with counsel on the "art of getting things done." But I love the parallel insight about the importance of the "nobler art of leaving things undone." Wise men and women make careful choices about what in their lives should be done, and what should be left aside. And those choices are often not just stopping unproductive or unworthy activities; sometimes we have to choose not to continue with valuable or useful activities, in order to focus on the "things that matter most."

What a valuable exercise to do periodically: to carefully and prayerfully evaluate the various activities in our lives and choose those that truly matter most, eliminating others that might not be as valuable. That will lead to wise and productive use of our allotted time!