Elder D. Todd Christofferson on pursuing the highest ideals of manhood

Elder D. Todd Christofferson (b. January 24, 1945) was called to the Seventy in 1993, and as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 2008.

"Good men sometimes make mistakes. A man of integrity will honestly face and correct his mistakes, and that is an example we can respect. Sometimes men try but fail. Not all worthy objectives are realized despite one’s honest and best efforts. True manhood is not always measured by the fruits of one’s labors but by the labors themselves—by one’s striving.

"Though he will make some sacrifices and deny himself some pleasures in the course of honoring his commitments, the true man leads a rewarding life. He gives much, but he receives more, and he lives content in the approval of his Heavenly Father. The life of true manhood is the good life.

"Most importantly, when we consider the admonition to be men, we must think of Jesus Christ. When Pilate brought Jesus forth wearing a crown of thorns, he declared, 'Behold the man!' (see John 19:4–5). Pilate may not have fully understood the significance of his own words, but the Lord indeed stood before the people then as He stands today—the highest ideal of manhood. Behold the man!"

- D. Todd Christofferson, "Let Us Be Men," General Conference October 2006
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The sign of a good person is not whether he or she makes mistakes; but what the reaction or response to those mistakes is. People of integrity "will honorably face and correct [their] mistakes" in appropriate and mature ways.

These remarks were addressed to a Priesthood session of conference, during which Elder Christofferson challenged his listeners to "be men"—to be spiritually mature and willing to resolve mistakes in the proper way.

The greatest ideal of manhood is in the life and example of the Savior, and in the rest of the talk Elder Christofferson uses examples and teachings from the New Testament to illustrate that ideal to which we can aspire. The life of a "true man" is a wonderful life, he points out; "He gives much, but he receives more, and he lives content in the approval of his Heavenly Father." What more could anyone, man or woman, seek?

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

Elder Quentin L. Cook on priorities for family stewardships

Elder Quentin L. Cook (b. 1940) was called as a Seventy in 1996, then as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 2007.

"With respect to our stewardship for our families, some have taught that when we report to the Savior and He asks us to give an account of our earthly responsibilities, two important inquiries will relate to our families. The first will be our relationship with our spouse, and the second will be about each of our children. (See Robert D. Hales quoting David O. McKay, 'Wisdom: Understanding of the Heart,' BYU Devotional, March 15, 1988; see also 2 Nephi 9:41.)

"It is easy to confuse our priorities. We have a duty to secure the physical safety and well-being of our children. However, some parents place undue priority on temporal and material possessions. Some are far less diligent in their efforts to immerse their children in the gospel of Jesus Christ. (See Joseph Fielding Smith, Take Heed to Yourselves! p. 221.) Remember that having religious observance in the home is as important as providing food, clothing, and shelter.

"Parents can also help children discover and develop their talents. We are responsible for the talents we have received. Children who are not taught that they are accountable for their time and talents are increasingly subject to the foolishness and unrighteousness that are so pervasive in the world. (See Mark 7:20–23.) The family proclamation warns that individuals 'who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God.' ('The Family: A Proclamation to the World,' Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102)"

- Quentin L. Cook, "Stewardship—a Sacred Trust," General Conference October 2009
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This statement rings very true to me: "It is easy to confuse our priorities." Perhaps one of the more difficult choices we make in life is that of deciding what matters most to us, and what can be delayed or left behind. We don't always know all the implications of our choices in advance, making the choosing of priorities even more challenging.

But applied to the family situation, Elder Cook helps identify a particularly timely challenge. It's important for parents to be concerned about "the physical safety and well-being" of children. But we sometimes confuse that requirement, placing "undue priority on temporal and material possessions" and neglecting far more important needs of spiritual training and protection.

That's an interesting concept, "immersing" our children in the Savior's gospel. They should be surrounded and encompassed by its teachings and principles in order to be properly protected in the world!

Elder Cook goes on to discuss a further priority, that of helping children explore and expand talents and make proper use of time. Setting children on a good path in these areas will bless their lives and protect them from "the foolishness and unrighteousness that are so pervasive in the world" in using time and talents inappropriately.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

President Dallin H. Oaks on the personal effort that precedes revelation

President Dallin H. Oaks (born August 12, 1932) served as president of BYU from 1971-1980.  He was then appointed as a justice of the Utah Supreme Court, and resigned when he was called to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 1984. He became President of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles and also 1st Counselor in the First Presidency in January 2018.

"Fundamental to any effort to receive revelation is a commitment to do all we can with our own efforts and judgment. This means we need to serve and to work.

"Going forward with our service and work is an important way to qualify for revelation. In my study of the scriptures I have noted that most revelation to the children of God comes when they are on the move, not when they are sitting back in their habitations waiting for the Lord to tell them the first step to take....

"We will get promptings of the Spirit when we have done everything we can, when we are out in the sun working rather than sitting back in the shade praying for direction on the first step to take. Revelation comes when the children of God are on the move.

"So we do all we can. Then we wait upon the Lord for His revelation. He has his own timetable."

- Dallin H. Oaks, "In His Own Time, in His Own Way," address delivered to new mission presidents on June 27, 2001; reprinted in Ensign August 2013, pp. 22-24
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In the learning environment of our mortal life, so much depends on what happens "after all we can do" (2 Nephi 25:23). President Oaks suggests that this principle applies to inspiration and revelation from God; He expects us to be alive and active, working and serving, learning and growing. And then we will find that His inspiration will come. It's also shown in the principle of "you must study it out in your mind" first in order to then find answers (D&C 9:7-9).

Revelation comes to those who are "on the move" and are "anxiously engaged" (D&C 58:27). We should be seeking regularly to increase our efforts to be found doing good.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

Elder David A. Bednar on choosing how we respond to challenging situations

Elder David A. Bednar (born June 15, 1952) was serving as the president of BYU–Idaho when he was called and sustained as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in October 2004.

"During a perilous period of war, an exchange of letters occurred between Moroni, the captain of the Nephite armies, and Pahoran, the chief judge and governor of the land. Moroni, whose army was suffering because of inadequate support from the government, wrote to Pahoran 'by the way of condemnation' (Alma 60:2) and harshly accused him of thoughtlessness, slothfulness, and neglect. Pahoran might easily have resented Moroni and his message, but he chose not to take offense. Pahoran responded compassionately and described a rebellion against the government about which Moroni was not aware. And then he responded, 'Behold, I say unto you, Moroni, that I do not joy in your great afflictions, yea, it grieves my soul. … And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart' (Alma 61:2, 9).

"One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say with Pahoran, 'it mattereth not.'"

- David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," General Conference October 2006
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The story of the interchange between Captain Moroni and Pahoran from Alma 60 and 61 is one of the remarkable gifts of the Book of Mormon. It is honest and sincere, not trying to minimize or cover up the mistake in judgement made by an otherwise great leader. Moroni is touted as one of the most powerful and inspired leaders:

Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men. (Alma 48:17)

But in this case, Moroni made a simple but potentially very hurtful mistake as he misjudged the motivations of a co-worker and accused him falsely. The great soul shows up instead in Pahoran; he could have been offended and hurt by the improper criticism, in a time of great need; but instead, he chose to be loving and forgiving:

Pahoran teaches us to love, to forgive, to accept that others also may be dealing with burdens and challenges that lead them to act in ways they normally might not. In this case in particular, Pahoran is apparently quite familiar with Moroni's pattern of faithful and diligent service to the Lord's cause, which likely made it easier for him to accept that there must be a temporary misunderstanding causing the criticism. But perhaps the greatest key lies in Pahoran's own confidence that he is doing what he should, with God's approval and according to his own covenants. That is true "spiritual maturity." If any man criticizes you when God has given approval, truly "it mattereth not."

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf on being devoted disciples

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf (born November 6, 1940) served as a Seventy from 1994-2004, when he was called as a member of the Quorum of Twelve.  He served as second counselor in the First Presidency from 2008 to 2018.

"The Apostle Paul wrote, 'Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light' (Ephesians 5:14).

"My dear friends, know that you are sons of light.

"Don’t allow selfishness! Don’t allow habits that could lead to addiction! Don’t allow competing priorities to lull you into indifference or detachment from blessed discipleship and ennobling priesthood service!

"There is too much at stake for us as individuals, as families, and as Christ’s Church to give only a halfhearted effort to this sacred work.

"Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is not an effort of once a week or once a day. It is an effort of once and for all....

"I testify that the cleansing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the transformative power of the Holy Ghost can heal and rescue mankind. It is our privilege, our sacred duty, and our joy to heed the Savior’s call to follow Him with a willing mind and full purpose of heart. Let us 'shake off the chains with which [we] are bound, and come forth out of obscurity, and arise from the dust' (2 Nephi 1:23).

"Let us be awake and not be weary of well-doing, for we 'are laying the foundation of a great work' (D&C 64:33), even preparing for the return of the Savior. Brethren, when we add the light of our example as a witness to the beauty and power of restored truth, we will not sleep through the Restoration."

- Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Are You Sleeping through the Restoration?", General Conference April 2014
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As a member of the First Presidency, President Uchtdorf shared these remarks in a Priesthood session of General Conference. He encouraged his listeners to be alert and active as they watched, and participated in, the great events of these last days—and not to "sleep through the Restoration." As we strive to participate actively in the "blessed discipleship" that we believe in, we all have countless opportunities to serve and to grow. But we need to be fully committed and engaged in the Lord's work:

President Uchtdorf bore a powerful witness about "the cleansing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the transformative power of the Holy Ghost" that are available to each of us, to bring healing and rescue. What a precious gift for us!

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

Elder Neil L. Andersen on doing the things that bless and strengthen families

Elder Neil L. Andersen (born August 9, 1951) served as a Seventy beginning in 1993, and was called to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 2009.

"On February 11 of [1999], the First Presidency, with the support of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, sent to every member of the Church a letter of counsel concerning our families. Let me read you just two sentences from this letter:

"'We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities. However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform' ('Policies, Announcements, and Appointments,' Ensign, June 1999, 80).

"What is our reaction to this prophetic counsel? What has been my response and your response to this First Presidency letter?

"As a parent of teenagers in a busy world, I can confirm that it takes giving these issues our highest priority to see them effectively work in our family.... With the influences of evil that surround our children, can we even imagine sending them out in the morning without kneeling and humbly asking together for the Lord’s protection? Or closing the day without kneeling together and acknowledging our accountability before Him and our thankfulness for His blessings? Brothers and sisters, we need to have family prayer.

"Certainly there are times when getting the family together to read the scriptures does not stack up as a spiritual experience worthy of a journal entry. But we must not be deterred. There are special times when the spirit of a son or daughter is just right and the power of these great scriptures goes down into their heart like fire. As we honor our Heavenly Father in our homes, He will honor our efforts."

- Neil L. Andersen, "Prophets and Spiritual Mole Crickets," General Conference October 1999
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I remember that 1999 letter—after it was read in Sacrament meetings throughout the Church, we used it a lot in leadership meetings and other training sessions, in stake conference meetings, etc. It was a wise and prophetic invitation to all of us to do our best in the things that matter most.

So now that almost 20 years have passed, has the message lost its timeliness? Not a bit. It's needed more than ever, as our attempts to hold families together matter are more needed and more challenging than they have ever been.

The good that can be accomplished by simple acts like family prayer and family scripture study is difficult to measure, but there is no question in my mind that those things not only set a foundation for future spiritual sensitivity and patterns of righteousness in children, but they also have immediate blessings, as Elder Andersen suggests, of providing the protection and perspective needed in daily life. "As we honor our Heavenly Father in our homes, He will honor our efforts."

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland on doubt, belief, and knowledge

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (born December 3, 1940) served as Church Commissioner of Education from 1976-1980, as the president of BYU from 1980-1989, as a Seventy from 1989-1994, and as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles since 1994.

"When problems come and questions arise, do not start your quest for faith by saying how much you do not have, leading as it were with your 'unbelief.' That is like trying to stuff a turkey through the beak! Let me be clear on this point: I am not asking you to pretend to faith you do not have. I am asking you to be true to the faith you do have. Sometimes we act as if an honest declaration of doubt is a higher manifestation of moral courage than is an honest declaration of faith. It is not! So let us all remember the clear message of this scriptural account (Mark 9:14-27): Be as candid about your questions as you need to be; life is full of them on one subject or another. But if you and your family want to be healed, don’t let those questions stand in the way of faith working its miracle....

"A 14-year-old boy recently said to me a little hesitantly, 'Brother Holland, I can’t say yet that I know the Church is true, but I believe it is.' I hugged that boy until his eyes bulged out. I told him with all the fervor of my soul that belief is a precious word, an even more precious act, and he need never apologize for 'only believing.' I told him that Christ Himself said, 'Be not afraid, only believe' (Mark 5:36), a phrase which, by the way, carried young Gordon B. Hinckley into the mission field (see Gordon B. Hinckley, in Conference Report, Oct. 1969, 114). I told this boy that belief was always the first step toward conviction and that the definitive articles of our collective faith forcefully reiterate the phrase 'We believe' (see Articles of Faith 1:1–13). And I told him how very proud I was of him for the honesty of his quest."

- Jeffrey R. Holland, "Lord, I Believe," General Conference April 2013
Click here to read or listen to the full talk

This beautiful and important talk by Elder Holland addressed some of the most vital concerns of our time, when so many are struggling to understand their faith and belief in the gospel, the Church, even the Savior. Elder Holland shared and analyzed the Biblical story of the man who came to the Savior with a son who was struggling with an overwhelming affliction since his birth, begging for help. Jesus responded by asking about the man's belief, and received the profound and deeply honest response, "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief" (Mark 9:24). Elder Holland shared wonderful insights about the interplay of doubt, belief, faith, and knowledge.

I was touched to review Elder Holland's personal story of the young boy who came to him expressing the modern equivalent of the Biblical father's situation: belief that falls short of knowledge. Elder Holland's tender and precious response to that boy should give all of us hope as we work towards the same goals of stronger belief, greater faith, and confirmed knowledge!

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)