Thomas S. Monson on sharing and expressing love

President Thomas S. Monson (1927- ) was sustained to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 1963.  He served as a counselor in the First Presidency with Presidents Benson, Hunter, and Hinckley until becoming Church president in 2008.

"Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, 'They do not love that do not show their love' (Two Gentlemen of Verona, act 1, scene 2, line 31). We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us. 

"Send that note to the friend you've been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say 'I love you' more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It's so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they're gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of 'what if' and 'if only.' Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, 'The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone' (in Gorton Carruth and Eugene Erlich, comps., The Harper Book of American Quotations (1988), 173)." 

- Thomas S. Monson, "Finding Joy in the Journey," Ensign, Nov. 2008, pp. 84-87
Click here to read the full talk

This excerpt is full of good advice about our relationships and interactions.  It's appropriate that it comes from a talk titled "Finding Joy in the Journey" — we will certainly have more joy when we express more love and appreciation.

In the midst of coping with the challenges of our lives, how easy it is to neglect the things that not only are of greatest worth, but are also keys in coping with our challenges! That certainly includes "the people around us" and we must not forget the blessing those relationships are, and can be.

I've known a number of people who struggled to resolve a difference or to express their appreciation until it was too late; they knew exactly the sentiment President Monson is warning of in this next caution, and in his encouragement to not delay in sending a note, giving a hug, or expressing love to others:

This final excerpt sums up the quote nicely, and should be a life's motto for each of us!

Marvin J. Ashton on the blessing of true friends

Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915-1994) served as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles from 1971 until his death in 1994 at age 78.

"A friend in the true sense is not a person who passively nods approval of our conduct or encourages improper behavior. A friend is a person who cares. When we lose someone who cares about us, we lose one of our most valuable assets. An Arabian proverb helps us:

"'A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.'

"A friend is a priceless possession because a true friend is one who is willing to take us the way we are but is able to leave us better than he found us. We are poor when we lose friends because generally they are willing to reprove, admonish, love, encourage, and guide for our best good. A friend lifts the heavy heart, says the encouraging word, and assists in supplying our daily needs. As friends we will make ourselves available without delay to those who need us."

- Marvin J. Ashton, "It's No Fun Being Poor," BYU Devotional, 30 March 1982
Click here to read the full talk

As we consider those we interact with, most of us can relate to Elder Ashton's description. We can identify when someone has filled the role of a "friend in the true sense" by their caring attitude, willingness to forgive or correct, and encouraging spirit.

A better question to ponder is, have *I* been that kind of friend to others? Do I demonstrate real care for those I associate closely with? Do I seek out opportunities to lift and encourage, to forgive freely and completely, and to be "available without delay" to supply needs?

Harold B. Lee on the happiest years of life

President Harold B. Lee (1899-1973) was called to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 1941. He served as a counselor in the First Presidency from 1970-1972, then as Church president from July 1972 until his passing less than 18 months later in December 1973.

"I recall the many times out at stake conference we always have the returned missionaries, if there are any, report, and almost without exception these boys say, 'They were the happiest years of my life.'  Maybe you've heard that expression.  Maybe some of you have said that. 

"Why were they the happiest years of their lives?  Well, they had probably been 'feeding' on some things that made them happy.  They had been giving unselfish service.  They weren't concerned about the paycheck.  They weren't concerned about the clock.  They were giving of themselves.  They were going beyond the call of duty.  They were rendering a meritorious service, and the net result was that they were happy and satisfied with what they had done. 

"But if I see that same missionary twenty years from now, and he still tells me, now having been married, having a family, and having held some high position in the Church or community, that his two years in the mission field were the happiest years in his life, I'll say, 'What in the world have you been feeding on these last twenty years that you haven't been happier?'  Experience, training, and development should have increased one's capacity for happiness, and the last years, immediately preceding, should have been the happiest years.  If he's been filling up each day the best he could, so that at day's close he could kneel down and witness before his Heavenly Father that whatever has come to his hand that day he has done to the best of his ability, then I know he'll be a happy man."

- Harold B. Lee, "What Men and Women Are Tomorrow Depends upon What You Learn Today," BYU Devotional, March 12, 1952; see THBL p.
Click here to listen to this full talk

A recent commercial movie used the title "The Best Two Years" to refer to that traditional description of the mission experience. Part of what makes a mission such a joyful time is that total focus on blessing the lives of others.  When the mission ends, it's easy to forget those things in the necessities of our ongoing daily lives. And truly, we can't neglect the more "temporal" aspects of  earning a living or getting an education. But they must be kept in perspective.

President Lee uses an interesting expression — what are we "feeding on" from day to day? What are the motivating forces, the things that help determine our actions from day to day? Are we driven by a paycheck and timeclock, or by the ability and opportunity to give and serve? That makes all the difference.

It's sobering to evaluate our lives in the quest for happiness. President Lee suggests that the growth that comes with maturity and passing years should also result in greater happiness. The best two years should always be the most recent ones!

Howard W. Hunter on thoughts of Jesus

President Howard W. Hunter (1907-1995) was called to the Quorum of Twelve in 1959.  He served as Church President from June 5, 1994 to his death on March 3, 1995.

"I have chosen for my brief text this morning the words of an ancient and sacred hymn, which are attributed to Bernard of Clairvaux and estimated to be nearly nine hundred years old. With the rest of the Christian world, the members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sing reverently:

   Jesus, the very thought of thee
   With sweetness fills my breast;
   But sweeter far thy face to see
   And in thy presence rest.
   (Hymns, 1985, no. 141.) 

"...we wonder if thoughts of Jesus, which 'with sweetness [fill our] breast,' ought not to be far more frequent and much more constant in all times and seasons of our lives. How often do we think of the Savior? How deeply and how gratefully and how adoringly do we reflect on his life? How central to our lives do we know him to be? 

"For example, how much of a normal day, a working week, or a fleeting month is devoted to 'Jesus, the very thought of thee'? Perhaps for some of us, not enough. 

"Surely life would be more peaceful, surely marriages and families would be stronger, certainly neighborhoods and nations would be safer and kinder and more constructive if more of the gospel of Jesus Christ 'with sweetness' could fill our breasts. 

"Unless we pay more attention to the thoughts of our hearts, I wonder what hope we have to claim that greater joy, that sweeter prize: someday his loving 'face to see / And in [his] presence rest.'" 

- Howard W. Hunter, "Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee," Ensign, May 1993, pp. 63-65
Click here to read the full talk

President Hunter had such a gentle approach to the Gospel and its application. Feeling the inviting message in the opening phrase of a beautiful hymn, he wonders if our thoughts of Jesus should be more frequent, even constant. That's a kind way of saying we are usually too distracted by the things of the world and not focused on what matters most. He challenges us to evaluate ourselves to see if our minds are centered where they should be as disciples of Jesus Christ. The promises are sure for those who understand what it means to allow Him to fill our thoughts and lives:

Certainly we do need to "pay more attention to the thoughts of our hearts." And by the way, the full text of that tender hymn bears pondering.

A portrait of the Savior by Jon McNaughton

Jesus, the very thought of thee
With sweetness fills my breast;
But sweeter far thy face to see
And in thy presence rest.

Nor voice can sing, nor heart can frame,
Nor can the mem'ry find
A sweeter sound than thy blest name,
O Savior of mankind!

O hope of ev'ry contrite heart,
O joy of all the meek,
To those who fall, how kind thou art!
How good to those who seek!

Jesus, our only joy be thou,
As thou our prize wilt be;
Jesus, be thou our glory now,
And thru eternity.

("Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee," original Latin text attributed to Bernard of Clairvaux, ca. 1091-1153; translated by Edward Caswall, 1814-1878.)

Spencer W. Kimball on the paradox of service

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895-1985) was ordained an apostle in 1943 and served as President of the Church from 1973 to 1985.

"A striking personality and good character is achieved by practice, not merely by thinking it. Just as a pianist masters the intricacies of music through hours and weeks of practice, so mastery of life is achieved by the ceaseless practice of mechanics which make up the art of living. Daily unselfish service to others is one of the rudimentary mechanics of the successful life. 'For whosoever will save his life,' the Galilean said, 'shall lose it, and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.' (Matthew 16:25.) What a strange paradox this! And yet one needs only to analyze it to be convinced of its truth....

"Only when you lift a burden, God will lift your burden. Divine paradox this! The man who staggers and falls because his burden is too great can lighten that burden by taking on the weight of another's burden. You get by giving, but your part of giving must be given first."

- Spencer W. Kimball, "The Abundant Life," commencement at Safford, AZ, High School, 1939; see TSWK pp. 250-51

It's particularly compelling when you hear or read a sermon preached by someone who exemplifies the qualities being described. That is certainly the case when President Kimball talked about "The Abundant Life" and how it includes service, commitment, a life-long demonstration of practice, and faithful endurance. Noble character doesn't just appear; it requires effort, practice, and training — particularly "daily unselfish service":

President Kimball had much personal insight into both giving and receiving service. The paradox of gaining strength by taking on greater burdens is a key insight into how we best cope with the challenges of this life.

Gordon B. Hinckley on accentuating the positive

President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910-2008) was called to the Quorum of Twelve in 1961. He served as a counselor in the First Presidency from 1981-1995, then as Church President until his death in 2008.

"I am asking that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we 'accentuate the positive.' I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort. I am not asking that all criticism be silenced. Growth comes of correction. Strength comes of repentance. Wise is the man who can acknowledge mistakes pointed out by others and change his course.
"What I am suggesting is that each of us turn from the negativism that so permeates our society and look for the remarkable good among those with whom we associate, that we speak of one another's virtues more than we speak of one another's faults, that optimism replace pessimism, that our faith exceed our fears. When I was a young man and was prone to speak critically, my father would say: 'Cynics do not contribute, skeptics do not create, doubters do not achieve.'"
- Gordon B. Hinckley, "The Continuing Pursuit of Truth," Ensign, April 1986, p. 2
Click here to read the full article

Storms are a part of life. They come from time to time, and in spite of the challenges they bring, they also bring benefits. That's true in the physical world. But symbolically, President Hinckley warns about the tendency to "seek out" storms, or to focus only on the challenges to be found in our lives:

Each of us can try harder to compliment the good we encounter and overlook the negative. As we seek virtues and strengths instead of shortcomings, our interactions will improve and our whole outlook on life will be blessed.

Wilford Woodruff on the testimony of the Holy Ghost

Wilford Woodruff (1807-1898) was called as an apostle in 1839 by Joseph Smith, and sustained as the 4th president of the Church in 1889.  He served until his death in 1898 at age 91.

"What is the greatest testimony any man or woman can have as to this being the work of God? I will tell you what is the greatest testimony I have ever had, the most sure testimony, that is the testimony of the Holy Ghost, the testimony of the Father and the Son. We may have the ministration of angels; we may be wrapt in the visions of heaven—these things as testimonies are very good, but when you receive the Holy Ghost, when you receive the testimony of the Father and the Son, it is a true principle to every man on earth, it deceives no man, and by that principle you can learn and understand the mind of God.
"Revelation has been looked upon by this Church, as well as by the world, as something very marvelous. What is revelation? The testimony of the Father and Son. How many of you have had revelation? How many of you have had the Spirit of God whisper unto you—the still small voice. I would have been in the spirit world a great many years ago, if I had not followed the promptings of the still small voice. These were the revelations of Jesus Christ, the strongest testimony a man or a woman can have. I have had many testimonies since I have been connected with this Church and kingdom. I have been blessed at times with certain gifts and graces, certain revelations and ministrations; but with them all I have never found anything that I could place more dependence upon than the still small voice of the Holy Ghost."
- Wilford Woodruff, discourse at the Salt Lake Assembly Hall, July 3, 1880; see JD 21:195-6
Click here to read the full talk

What an interesting insight this is! To have experiences like the ministration of angels, or to be wrapped up in the very visions of heaven are "very good"; but the greatest testimony of all, the most sure testimony, the principle that will lead us to "learn and understand the mind of God" is the simple witness of the Holy Ghost, the "still small voice" testifying of the Father and the Son.

President Woodruff did indeed know whereof he spoke. He had many opportunities in his life to have visions and sacred experiences. But he also knew what it was to be sensitive to gentle promptings, and had many miraculous experiences because of his sensitivity to those promptings. And those are the revelations of heaven that he most prized. How important it must be for us to learn to hear those witnesses!

I'm particularly impressed by the phrase, "by that principle you can learn and understand the mind of God." That's more of a treasure than it may appear to be at first glance. If we truly come to understand His mind and will, we will never doubt, never question. We will comprehend so much more of the events of the world, and in particular, the challenges in our own life. We will see as He sees and understand as He does; what a critical step in becoming like Him. And it starts with a still, small voice.